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Hey M(MA)ILFS ;)
I thought it would be fun to post the funny things our kids come up with.
I have a 2 yr old and a 14 yr old so I get the best of the 2's and the teens.
I'll start it off with my 2 yr old.
While waiting in line at a crowded Hallmark store my son grabbed his crotch and yelled
"BONER! BONER! Talon has a big boner!"
(I DID NOT teach him the word boner.)
My 14 yr old came home one day last year and asked me
"What's a taint?"
Um...awkward.
I DID tell her. Better coming from me, right?
sweetcheeks75
03-04-2009, 11:11 AM
lol ok I'm going to share this story only because I crack up everytime I hear my son say it. First a little background info- My son will be 3 soon and he has always watched Daddy play XBOX live with all his brothers. He soon learned how to play XBOX himself, self-taught, pretty amazing to watch actually because he is really good. Anyways, he plays a game called The Outfit, which is a military game based on the Axis and Allies. He walks his little army around shooting trees and blowing up the baracks. I usually turn the volume waaaay down so he can't hear it because it says some "potty" words. My husband however is obsessed with our surround sound so he always turns it waaaay UP. Anyways, now my son runs around the house yelling things like.. "Shoot the bad guys!" and "Don't like Germans! Kill Germans!!" Also, "Blow him up!"
So when we go anywhere is public he always whips out his little pretend gun and shoots all these strangers. He also pretends like he is being shot and falls down on the ground saying "I got shot." "Him kill me." Lovely huh??
How horrible of a parent am I? Funny thing is HE is part German. Our ancestors are from Germany and Hungary. lol
That's soo funny! I'm sure you get a lot of WTF? looks;)
My son was at an in-door swimming class w/ me and did a dead-on straight run to a rather 'large' woman bending over.
I couldn't catch him in time and he full-on grabbed her ass and said "butt big"
YIKES
sweetcheeks75
03-04-2009, 11:31 AM
That's soo funny! I'm sure you get a lot of WTF? looks;)
My son was at an in-door swimming class w/ me and did a dead-on straight run to a rather 'large' woman bending over.
I couldn't catch him in time and he full-on grabbed her ass and said "butt big"
YIKES
Im fucking laughing my ass off haha!!! :)
yeah it sucked. I couldn't help 'but' laugh (pun intended) and she got a little bit pissed.
I got the snooty version of a WTF? look.
Once when my son saw my husband naked he pointed to his junk and said
"AW Dad...it's so cute."
OUCH
sweetcheeks75
03-04-2009, 11:41 AM
ewww ouch! That hurts the ego... lol
YouTube - talon dances to california love. :D
Sorry about the laughing. Savanah and I were cracking up:)
sweetcheeks75
03-04-2009, 04:38 PM
lol i love it!!!
kreuzburg2
03-04-2009, 09:17 PM
well I got 5 kids (18 down to 4) and so many stories to tell, my oldest and only son Ken, he has had the most excitement for sure. When he was 2 he thought he broke his penis (he got a woody), he cried so much over that. When he was 3 he jammed a tart and tiny up his nose, I had to take him to the ER, right as the DR. was looking up his nose he sneezed, said told ya mama I get it out.
well I got 5 kids (18 down to 4) and so many stories to tell, my oldest and only son Ken, he has had the most excitement for sure. When he was 2 he thought he broke his penis (he got a woody), he cried so much over that. When he was 3 he jammed a tart and tiny up his nose, I had to take him to the ER, right as the DR. was looking up his nose he sneezed, said told ya mama I get it out.
LOL That reminds me of the time I stuck a tic tac up my nose last week...KIDDING, I was like 6.
My sisters dared me to shove that bitch way up there. After getting it lodged so high it was half way to my brain I started to panic and freak out. I had to shoot is out like a torpedo while they all laughed like lunatics.
I don't like tic tacs to this day.
When we were kids I took an apple off the table and bit a huge bite out of it. Then I put it back. My Dad found it and got totally pissed. He lined us all up and measured the bite marks. Mine matched. That sucked.
This one time, at band camp...
LMAO
sweetcheeks75
03-05-2009, 06:05 AM
lol Why do kids shove random shit up their nose?? Austin shoved a pea up there once. I was freaking out trying to pick it out, I was getting pretty hysterical. Jordan calmly walks in and holds on side of his nose shut, tells Austin to blow, and THERE IT GOES! I was like hmm... that was pretty easy! lol
HAHA Sweetcheeks. Noses are just magnetic I guess.
This one is really embarrassing.
When Savanah was in 1st grade she went to the front of the class for show and tell and said:
"I just want to tell everyone my Mommy has brand new replacement boobs."
:eek:
Got to hear about that one from the fat, smug, witch of a teacher. Good times.
sweetcheeks75
03-05-2009, 06:50 AM
HAHA Sweetcheeks. Noses are just magnetic I guess.
This one is really embarrassing.
When Savanah was in 1st grade she went to the front of the class for show and tell and said:
"I just want to tell everyone my Mommy has brand new replacement boobs."
:eek:
Got to hear about that one from the fat, smug, witch of a teacher. Good times.
That's awesome!! lmao! I would have said "Damn skippy, bitch!!"
My neighbor's 6 year old asked her Dad if Vagina was the Chinese word for pee-pee
Julie
03-05-2009, 09:48 AM
ok, well this isn't my kid, but my brother's 6 year old, Brandon...
but this Thanksgiving, my mum asked Brandon to say a prayer and thank god for putting all the food on the table. Brandon got a WTF face on and goes "Nana, god didn't put the food on the table, WE just did."
Did you die laughing Julie? That's one of those moments when you spray milk out your nose.
My 2 yr old saw one of those Urijah commercials for No Fear or something and he says;
"That guy's lumpy."
I'm assuming he meant 'muscular' but it was funny as hell.
sweetcheeks75
03-05-2009, 11:06 AM
Did you die laughing Julie? That's one of those moments when you spray milk out your nose.
My 2 yr old saw one of those Urijah commercials for No Fear or something and he says;
"That guy's lumpy."
I'm assuming he meant 'muscular' but it was funny as hell.
lol lumpy! that's hilarious
Kimberly
03-05-2009, 11:19 AM
I remember when Cody was 7 some religious people stopped by our house to tell us about their new church. Well, I'm not an overly religious person so Cody really didn't spend a lot of time at church. The guy leans down and asks Cody if he knows who Jesus is, and Cody replies (more like yells), "yeah, he got swollowed by the whale." They gave me that tsk tsk look. I just laughed and shut the door. For those of you who don't know, Jonah was swollowed by the whale. Jonah/Jesus -- close enough :)
sweetcheeks75
03-05-2009, 11:27 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16sGGEAC-mg
If this works, it's my son @ 2 yrs. old hitting a baseball. He starting playing baseball @ 12 months, and is pretty damn good!!;)
Kimberly
03-05-2009, 11:31 AM
Sorry Sweetcheeks, I don't see anything. :(
Kimberly
03-05-2009, 11:38 AM
I remember when Cody was 7 some religious people stopped by our house to tell us about their new church. Well, I'm not an overly religious person so Cody really didn't spend a lot of time at church. The guy leans down and asks Cody if he knows who Jesus is, and Cody replies (more like yells), "yeah, he got swollowed by the whale." They gave me that tsk tsk look. I just laughed and shut the door. For those of you who don't know, Jonah was swollowed by the whale. Jonah/Jesus -- close enough :)
by the way -- swallowed! duh, yes, I know how to spell. :rolleyes:
Julie
03-05-2009, 12:15 PM
Did you die laughing Julie? That's one of those moments when you spray milk out your nose.
My 2 yr old saw one of those Urijah commercials for No Fear or something and he says;
"That guy's lumpy."
I'm assuming he meant 'muscular' but it was funny as hell.
haha I think he's the coolest kid in the world, and I definitely laughed harder than I have in awhile. No milk was involved because I'm allergic to dairy, buthad I been drinking anything...the entire world would have been saturated.
Julie
03-05-2009, 12:18 PM
OHHH something that just happened the other day...Brandon my nephew and my younger cousin Alex (he is 14) were playing xbox and got REALLY into it. I was still asleep and my mum told Alex if he woke me up, I would come down and beat him to death (hardly an exaggeration). Brandon whispered to my mum "If Julie beats Alex to death, can I keep his xbox."
he is soo decent
sweetcheeks75
03-05-2009, 02:51 PM
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.
lets see if i got this... finally... ??
I remember when Cody was 7 some religious people stopped by our house to tell us about their new church. Well, I'm not an overly religious person so Cody really didn't spend a lot of time at church. The guy leans down and asks Cody if he knows who Jesus is, and Cody replies (more like yells), "yeah, he got swollowed by the whale." They gave me that tsk tsk look. I just laughed and shut the door. For those of you who don't know, Jonah was swollowed by the whale. Jonah/Jesus -- close enough :)
:) :) :)
That's so funny! I hate when those religious people come to my house. Once they followed me to the park. Next time I'm going to ask them if it's true that Jesus got swallowed by a whale.
I'll either get the Bible thrown at me or a tattered copy of Moby Dick.
OHHH something that just happened the other day...Brandon my nephew and my younger cousin Alex (he is 14) were playing xbox and got REALLY into it. I was still asleep and my mum told Alex if he woke me up, I would come down and beat him to death (hardly an exaggeration). Brandon whispered to my mum "If Julie beats Alex to death, can I keep his xbox."
he is soo decent
That's one for the books. Brandon has a future in politics.
;)
I tried to watch your video Sweets, but it won't let me:( He's so cute though!
kreuzburg2
03-05-2009, 10:34 PM
ok ladies this is way off, but I am going to miss these conversations. I will be out for a bit, not really sure how long. I have to have surgery tomorrow. I have a ruptured disc and it is sitting on the nerve sac in the spine. I will have to stay over night but may get to come home Saturday. Take care and I will update as soon as I can.
Kimberly
03-05-2009, 10:50 PM
ok ladies this is way off, but I am going to miss these conversations. I will be out for a bit, not really sure how long. I have to have surgery tomorrow. I have a ruptured disc and it is sitting on the nerve sac in the spine. I will have to stay over night but may get to come home Saturday. Take care and I will update as soon as I can.
Wishing you a speedy recovery! :)
ok ladies this is way off, but I am going to miss these conversations. I will be out for a bit, not really sure how long. I have to have surgery tomorrow. I have a ruptured disc and it is sitting on the nerve sac in the spine. I will have to stay over night but may get to come home Saturday. Take care and I will update as soon as I can.
Get well and let us know when you're safe at home.
:)
Julie
03-06-2009, 08:42 AM
That's one for the books. Brandon has a future in politics.
;)
He always says he wants to be the president of the US when he grows up!
He always says he wants to be the president of the US when he grows up!
Can you imagine? If Russia beats S Korea to death I get all their toys.
kreuzburg2
03-07-2009, 01:48 PM
well the surgery went well, I feel like crap. This has got to be the worst pain I have ever felt.
Hey Kreuzburg...here's one to make you laugh:)
My cousin was PG with twins when a little girl looked at her stomach and bugged her eyes wide.
"How old is that kid in your tummy? It looks about 25."
Julie
03-08-2009, 02:44 PM
Hey Kreuzburg...here's one to make you laugh:)
My cousin was PG with twins when a little girl looked at her stomach and bugged her eyes wide.
"How old is that kid in your tummy? It looks about 25."
that little girl was stupid.
well, not the sharpest crayon in the box. But she was just 6.
kreuzburg2
03-08-2009, 05:47 PM
that's too funny, kids say the darnedest things. My little girls are 4, 5, and 7. My big ones are 18 and 16. The oldest is the only boy. My kids have said so much shit over the years, it has been a lot of fun. I would not trade it for nothing. My nephew just had his first son, and my baby asked did he come out her butt or belly.
sweetcheeks75
03-26-2009, 01:33 PM
This happened yesterday (Wednesday)... My husband's XBOX Live subscription ran out and he had not refigured it yet.. My son, Austin-3, came to me and was wanted to play XBOX Live. I tried to explain to him that the 'money' ran out and Daddy needed to put some more in the machine so that he could play.. He then began to run around the house looking for odd change, handed them to me, and said "Gotta get more monies!" and continued to run around the house. LOL It was hilarious... THEN I had to explain to him that is not exactly what I meant.... He was pretty upset lol
sweetcheeks75
03-26-2009, 01:38 PM
http://www.alphamalemma.com/forum/picture.php?albumid=102&pictureid=1457
Austin man settled for Madden instead lol
ama6730
03-26-2009, 03:46 PM
after going to visit my very pregnant cousin, austin was very stressed out on the ride home. He said..mom, I hate to tell you, but Christy is NOT going to have a baby. I asked why he thought that, she's due to have the baby any day. He said, well did you see how big her belly was? I'm sure she ATE the baby! Just like the guppy mama ate her babies! (our fish had babies and ate them)
ama6730
03-26-2009, 03:48 PM
I could tell thousands of these stories and austin is only 6. The first time he saw a girl baby have a diaper change, he said, OMG, the dog bit her thing completely off how did she pee?
http://www.alphamalemma.com/forum/picture.php?albumid=102&pictureid=1457
Austin man settled for Madden instead lol
he's so cute Nat:)
did you hide your piggy bank?
amee, your son is hilarious:)
I love the mama ate her baby!
he's a smart little guy:D
ama6730
03-26-2009, 04:13 PM
The first time he saw snow...he woke me up freaking out...mama, mama, there is milk falling from the sky and it is all over the yard! Somebody up there is making a big mess, you are going to be SO MAD!
haha snow is a big mess. UGH
HELP.
Talon keeps grabbing his junk and saying HONK HONK
WTF? It's funny at home, but in the grocery store...not so much.
ama6730
03-28-2009, 04:53 PM
Can't help you with that Kim. Mine pulls his pants down, moons you, and says...zoop! He don't do it in public, but if we have company over they are fair game for a zoop.
ZOOP!
http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e85/cole18117/pin%20ups%20girls/1950sCoppertonegirl.jpg
sweetcheeks75
03-28-2009, 07:06 PM
haha snow is a big mess. UGH
HELP.
Talon keeps grabbing his junk and saying HONK HONK
WTF? It's funny at home, but in the grocery store...not so much.
lol Austin has a goodtime playing with himself too! BOYS! He plays with himself and gets a little boner and says "Pee Pee hurt!" "Fix it! Fix it!" lol
Talon does that too. WTF. Especially in public. Like the middle of Target in the tampon isle.
Today Savanah took a picture of me while I was pumping gas. then she put it on my phone as wallpaper with a banner that said 'you're a huge dork'
:mad:
what a brat.
LOL
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1199/1449886377_faef4ab824.jpg
sweetcheeks75
03-28-2009, 07:27 PM
lol that's tennage talk for "Your a cool mom!" DUH KIM!! lol
sweetcheeks75
03-28-2009, 07:28 PM
wow we just posted at the exact same time! WEIRD!
did you see the guy I posted for you? on the last page
;)
sweetcheeks75
03-30-2009, 08:06 PM
yes, pretty HOT STUFF!
Stephanie
06-25-2009, 04:21 PM
I have a 2 year old daughter, Coral, and she humps EVERYTHING! We're just moved to Houston, and are living in a hotel right now... well, she is laying on top of the table, humping it, while eating Cheerios lol.
OMG Stephanie! Cheerios make me wanna hump everything! no cereal bowl or dishwasher is safe at breakfast time.
LOL Kidding;)
That's so funny but also embarrassing.
My son still tells everyone his boner is growing. OMG
Kids.
Stephanie
06-25-2009, 05:45 PM
OMG Stephanie! Cheerios make me wanna hump everything! no cereal bowl or dishwasher is safe at breakfast time.
LOL Kidding;)
That's so funny but also embarrassing.
My son still tells everyone his boner is growing. OMG
Kids.
That's crazy hilarious!! She also blurts f*ck out of nowhere all the time. Oh, and there's this guy here at our hotel, Chris, that Coral has totally fallen in love with... she calls him piss!!! It's so funny!
Buggy
06-25-2009, 05:48 PM
My 2 year old likes to drop his pants where ever we are and pee. And he will look at me and say he didn't do it...his brother did. I think Home Depot was the worst spot he ever did that. :)
Stephanie
06-25-2009, 06:00 PM
My 2 year old likes to drop his pants where ever we are and pee. And he will look at me and say he didn't do it...his brother did. I think Home Depot was the worst spot he ever did that. :)
Omg, inside Home Depot?
didn't one of the guys from Jackass take a dump in a home depot toilet display?
Totally gross.
Sorry...off topic there.
LOL
Jessica_1979
06-25-2009, 11:15 PM
lol...that was awesome! Or when they shit in the barbie house...lol too funney:p
yeah that shit was funny!!!! Jackass is hilarious. Stevo's my hero.
Terra
08-08-2009, 10:29 PM
My 6 Year old son Alva told me he knew why they blurr out the faces on Cops. It's because they are so ugly. And now that I think about it, he may be right.
hahah That's too funny:)
I love that name Terra
Terra
08-09-2009, 09:11 AM
Thanks. I let his daddy pick it out. I thought he needed to contribute some how since I did all the work to get him here.:)
C_i_n_d_i
08-09-2009, 06:51 PM
These are hillarious and you can't beat the title of the thread. lol
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